Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Letter from an insane mind

Disclaimer: This is a purely fictitious blog written in first person only to give a touch of realism to the narration and any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental J

Life presents you with such ironic turn of events that always leave you wondering whether there is actually someone above this world who is manoeuvring each and every move of ours and well in my case, plotting against me as well. The so called Supreme Being, if there is someone like that must hate me for he presents me with such fantastic examples of contrast in life of which I am clearly not a fan….. Here goes one such example….

We met two and a half years ago in a college cafeteria when you asked me if you could share the lunch table and you looked like such a jerk that I didn’t even bother to remember your name. Little did I even guess in my wildest dreams that a day will come when a couple of hours without hearing your voice would make life tough for me. There are some things that I can never tolerate in a person- laziness, lack of passion, overconfidence and the habit of criticizing people for the sake of entertainment. You had all that and much more of it and despite that we became the best of friends. Actually, if anyone spends as much time with each other as we spent over the last couple of years, they would become inseparable for that’s what human beings are: addicted to habits so badly that they never want to get out of it. In hindsight it’s hard to believe that people with such different ideologies can even stay in the same room with each other. I still hate all those about you-I hate your guts, your arrogance and the way you always try to prove me wrong just to win an argument. But despite that you remain my closest pal…. Well that’s an understatement for you are like the other side of me!!!

The turbulence in our relationship is nothing short of a joy ride in an amusement park except that the turns have been at the wrong places and the word joy does not do justice to the unbelievable strength that your presence has given me. But for the sadder part, there always comes the question of where this relationship is going especially when you are a girl!!! I have asked that question to myself so many times that I often think that I don’t even need an answer coz I never try to look for one. I wanted to take this relationship to the next level always for that seemed the logical part of it. Two people who know each other so well should stay together for the rest of their life; be it through matrimony or otherwise. I tried to convince myself that there is a line of difference between what we had and what is called being in love. But apparently that line is just imaginary…. When you care for someone the way I do for you, either you got to be in love or… well there is no OR!! That’s the only answer!!!



And I have never failed to put this thought forward to you. But you…Well you have always thought that things wouldn’t work out. You have never given me a reason for your argument though which I assume is because you never had one!!! How much harder can it be to forget our differences and remain as friends, like we are today for the rest of our lives??? Harder than you going in a search of a beautiful looking girl, whom you can call your girlfriend, who might be a nice person (I don’t deny that) but who is a total stranger to you and with whom you have to spend years just to make her understand what you really are???? Definitely not!! But you chose the latter part for apparently, though I can know you inside out, probably even more than you yourself do, you cannot give me a chance for there is some reason so inexplicably hidden in this whole argument that eludes me.

You keep saying that I am confusing myself by bringing baseless thoughts and imaginations into my mind. Well let’s be clear while we are on the subject. It’s not that I have spent days and nights dreaming about getting married to you and spending the rest of my life with you. If that’s your definition of being in love, well then again we share a difference of opinion like we always do. I have just started planning my future life and you inevitably became a part of it because you are already a part so many things going on in my life. You say my thinking has changed! Well I have no clue about that but I have just become so comfortable with you being there whenever I want that I can’t imagine a future where that does not exist. The irony that I mentioned above is that when everyone around us sees the “connect” and logical conclusion of our relationship, why do you not see it?? Or is it a conscious decision on your part to avoid it for you are too scared to face the reality?

And today, I again ask you to come back out of that relationship which seems like more of a charade than some real bond, come back so that we can be together and in the name of god, I know that that will make us both happier in life!!! And what do you say? You can never hurt anyone and you have given her your commitment. The second part of the statement again impresses me (like every single thing about you) but the first part?? Sorry Mr. that’s where you are wrong… You hurt someone along the way, someone who was always there with you and who would have been there in future as well… And you know who that is!!!!

Regards,
Me!